Déjà vu

According to Wikipedia, Déjà vu is a French phrase meaning "already seen", and it refers to the experience of feeling sure that one has witnessed or experienced a new situation previously.

I haven't found out whether it's always scary. I actually have a frightening childhood memories regarding Déjà vu. It popped up in my minds some times, cannot count up the frequency since it always comes out for 1-2 seconds only. It's such a scary, frightening, horrific feeling that I can be shocked for a sec then my heart pulse goes up damn fast for the next few secs. It's rather similar to the feeling of 'falling down from a high place" when you are going to bed, except it's not so scary.

At the age of 8 during midnight I was ever suddenly waken up from bed by a man's voice staying in my mind for more than half an hour. He sounded angry, kept ordering me to "go out" and repeating it many times. I was the only one at home hearing that voice. I just screamed and cried lolz but parents can do nothing surely. Though I wonder why that different frightening feeling cannot be forgotten and even come in me many times till today.

Few weeks back I felt it again when watching a video, then some times later watched it back and got deja vu again at the same time in the vid. I just realized that it is always triggered by a composition of voices which are difficult to describe, and if I heard the similar one, no matter what I am seeing, that unique frightening feeling is there and sometimes I am stuck for a while. Anyone got Déjà vu as well??? Share here ^^

Ovi by Nokia comes with N97

I am not so interested about anything related to competition between Apple with Microsoft, Apple with Nokia, Apple with everyone. Apple is not the oldest in PC industry and just came into mobile phones, but obviously it is where the following trends come from. Every company can have their own genius engineers bring in the superb functionality but their innovation lose to Apple. In case of N97, I just perceived it as an excellent successor of Nokia's evolution 5800XpressMusic at first but now it seems to be intentionally aimed for iPhone. At roughly very close period, Nokia's -another breakthrough- Ovi Store is launched -in a few weeks from now- targeted to Apple's App Store.

App Store is surely a huge hit for any mobile phone developers as it reached over 1 billion in less than 1 year!! Do remember that they just put the applications tied-in iPhone+iTouch, which are also new compared to a decade age of other mobile phone brands. For this Ovi, same as Apple, Nokia will get 30% of the selling revenues from its online store.

I never argued that iPhone has now ruled the mobile industry. Nokia's first touchscreen 5800 was not the first follower of iPhone. By the end of last year, SE's X1 was like a massive buzz and shortyly after the promotion got slower, Nokia 5800 ads are everywhere.

That's an attractive promotion to see other tie-ins with Facebook, MySpace, LinkedIn etc. Let's see whether its social network functionalities can beat iPhone :)

Great promotion, and hopes it's not just merely a promo.



Looking at functionalities, its screen looks better than iPhone, especially in resolution, though personally I still give two thumbs up for SE X1. QWERTY keyboard, I thought, is just a choice. Some people like me hate touchscreen keyboard. Its memory is just a crazy surprise but please think twice, is it really needed? Seeing its memory, yes, iPhone's memory is really one of the main setbacks. For camera it's better than iPhone but not the best one, and obviously even 2-3 MP is already much more than enough for mobile phone, except you cannot use it.

Wondering why everyone calls it iPhone's Killer, let's see whether it will :)

The important part actually should go to the touch screen which makes your price, makes the main intention, promotion, and everything. How responsive it is would then be the measurement and as Nokia's previous products, we should see how often this new N-series got crashed against iPhone, if you want to compare, which seems to be much more reliable.

Math

Sedari kecil saya selalu ditanamkan bahwa matematika adalah ilmu pasti. Matematika itu jawabannya cuma satu. Berbeda dengan bidang lain, misalnya sosial, dimana berbagai solusi dapat diperdebatkan. Saya tidak pernah memperdebatkan hal ini namun seiring pelajaran matematika yang saya dapatkan di sekolah dari TK-SMA saya dapat menyadarinya kebenaran akan istilah 'ilmu pasti' tersebut.

Memang hasil dari suatu soal atau pertanyaan tidak selalu satu dan unik. Ambil contoh,

---> x^2-4 = 0 ,menghasilkan x=2 atau x=-2. Hasilnya, nilai dari x adalah salah satu diantara 2 bilangan tersebut dan bilangan mana pun yang dimasukkan jke dalam pesamaan jawabannya akan selalu benar, namun Anda tidak dapat memasukkan kedua2nya sekaligus bukan? Kira-kira begitulah yang disebut ilmu pasti, dimana dalam kasus ini, salah satu dari keduanya.

---> x = 0/0 , menghasilkan x adalah bilangan tak tentu. Nilai dari x dapat digantikan dengan bilangan apa pun, sekalipun bilangan itu 0 atau tak hingga. Nilai dari x dapat bervariasi tapi hasil dari persamaan tersebut adalah: x bilangan tak tentu. Beberapa orang menyebut istilah ini untuk mendukung keberadaan seni dari matematika. Ya terkadang matematika memang dapat membuat kita berdecak kagum.

Sayangnya, setidaknya dari pemikiran pribadi saya, bila tidak berhati-hati, ini akan menjadi bumerang bagi matematika itu sendiri. Dari usia yang sangat dini seorang anak diajarkan kebenaran dari suatu soal dalam matematika. Bahkan seringkali, hanya kebenaran itu, ya, hanya benar atau tidaknya. Sebenarnya saya merasa dibujuk untuk kembali berpikir oleh tayangan di salah satu stasiun televisi swasta yang diadoptasi dari reality show Amerika. Saya mengatakan 'kembali berpikir', karena saya memang pernah memikirkannya saat SD, dan tidak mendapatkan jawabannya hanya mengganggap hal ini sangat sepele.

3x4 adalah 3+3+3+3 atau 4+4+4?
sebagian orang dengan cepat menjawab salah satu diantaranya. Apa pun jawaban yg benar, saya masih meragukan kebenaran tersebut.

Saya bertanya balik, atau katakanlah, bertanya kepada diri sendiri, 3x4 itu 3 kali 4 atau 3 dikali 4? Apakah A kali B berarti ada B sebanyak A kali, dan A dikalikan B berarti A dikalikan sebanyak B kali? Ataukah ada persepsi yang lebih baik (dan benar)? Bagaimana dengan A-B, apakah 'A kurang B' dan 'A dikurang B' itu sebenarnya sama?

Jika saya bertanya kepada orang-orang saya yakin sebagian dari mereka tidak akan menghiraukan saya, 'Penting gak sih?', 'Toh jawabannya juga sama!', 'Itu kan cuma masalah bahasa, verbal atau tertulis!'. Ya, karena pertanyaan ini tidak penting, dan memang tidak penting, saya pribadi tidak mengetahui jawabannya dan toh bisa lulus sampai SMA dengan nilai matematika yang tidak pas-pasan, namun salah kaprah terkadang bisa fatal.

Dari hal-hal yang luar biasa sepele ini orang menghiraukan pemahaman dari matematika itu sendiri. Kembali ke 'keindahan' matematika tadi, matematika itu ilmu pasti. Ya, jawabannya pasti, namun apakah matematika cuma terletak kepada jawabannya? Hal sepele dan tidak penting tadi timbul dalam diri kita sebagai suatu mindset dalam belajar matematika bahwa hasilnya harus benar, dan terkadang beberapa orang menilai, 'yang penting jawabannya benar'.

Terkadang bila disuruh mengecek kembali jawaban teman Anda, yang Anda lihat pertama kali hanya jawabannya. 'Kalau jawabannya bener, ya seharusnya semuanya bener'. Menurut saya dalam matematika, terlalu banyak hal yang dianggap sepele.

Di minggu2 terakhir SMA saya pernah berdebat dengan guru matematika saya. Saya tidak begitu mengingat angkanya tapi kurang lebih seperti yang digambarkan oleh fungsi y^2=x. Beliau membedakan y^2=x dan y=akar dari x. Saya langsung menyanggah bahwa seharusnya kedua fungsi tersebut sama dan ironisnya beberapa murid juga berpendapat demikian. Kembali ke kasus yang sangat sepele tadi, 'Toh jawabannya sama'. Namun sayangnya dalam kasus antara 2 fungsi tadi, bisa jadi jawabannya tidak sama.

Mungkin bagi yang masih kuliah dan masih fresh akan matematika bisa mengingat kesalahan dasar (dan kita selalu tau untuk menghindari hal ini) dimana f(x)/g(x) > 0, Anda diminta untuk mencari nilai x, dan kalikan kedua ruas kanan&kiri dengan g(x) adalah kesalahan yang sangat fatal. Saya pernah melakukan hal tersebut sewaktu SMP dan terkejut mengetahui ini salah. 'Koq salah, toh sama aja'. Sayangnya dalam kasus ini, jawabannya justru salah.

Saya yakin kesalahan ini tidak akan menjadi kesalahan umum seperti sekarang bila yang sepele-sepele tadi tidak dibuat sepele. Bukannya sok membesar-besarkan masalah, tapi semua sisi harus dipahami. Tidak ada istilah, 'Ah, itu kan cuma masalah pengucapan kali-dikali doank!' karena tidak ada batasan-batasan dalam matematika. Berbeda dengan ilmu lainnya dimana satu masalah bisa dibawa ngelantur ke hal-hal yang sangat sinkron. Dalam matematika semua sub-ilmu bisa dihubungkan secara langsung ke sub-ilmu lain, karena alasan tadi, matematika adalah ilmu pasti. Dibawa kemana pun tidak akan berubah. Jadi bukan hanya benar atau tidaknya jawaban dari suatu soal. Matematika itu ada prosesnya, tapi seringkali jalan/cara menuju jawaban biasanya dijadikan guru-guru sebagai 'bukti' bahwa mereka tidak menyontek. Saya terkadang ragu apakah semua guru melihat baris per baris cara2 tersebut.

Mungkin tidak perlu jauh-jauh membahas soal SMA yang rumit. Di universitas sekarang saja, saya hanya diberikan rumus oleh dosen. Proses menuju rumus tersebut adalah optional tergantung kesadaran si mahasiswa. Beberapa orang menilai bahwa mahasiswa memang harus dengan kesadaran tinggi mempelajari sendiri proses tersebut, namun saya sangsi bahwa si dosen melihat hal yang sama. Lagipula kenyataannya banyak mahasiswa hanya menghafalkan. Implikasi dari 'ke-ilmu-pasti-an' ini, terkadang saya menyimpulkan cara dan pemahaman berdasarkan jawaban yang diberikan. Saya tau ini memang sangat Gila.

Hal kedua dan terakhir yang ingin saya sampaikan mengenai matematika, jangan menggeneralisasikan matematika sebagai aplikasi dalam semua yang ada di hidup ini. Matematika bisa digunakan di berbagai aplikasi, tapi tidak semuanya. Matematika dengan sederhana menyatakan 1+1=2. Lantas mengapa di dalam ilmu fisika 1+1=1.999, atau repot-repot 2.001, atau lain sebagainya? Karena secara realistis, Anda akan kesulitan mendapatkan pengukuran tepat 2 centimeter. Katakanlah 1 jeruk + 1 jeruk = 2 jeruk. Itu adalah hal yang disampaikan oleh matematika secara sederhana. Namun di dalam realita, pedagang menjual jeruk berdasarkan beratnya, bukan kuantiti.

Yang saya maksud dengan jangan menggeneralisasikan matematika dalam segala hal kehidupan, adalah bahwa ada pengukuran-pengukuran tersendiri di dalam matematika itu. Tidak sesederhana matematika dimana 1+1=2, di dalam kenyataan masing2 angka 1 itu memiliki pengukuran tersendiri, 1 bisa jadi 0.9997, atau 1.002. Tidak semua hal bisa dijadikan sebuah persamaan, melainkan pertidaksamaan, dengan selisih yang kecil tentunya.

Mungkin dunia ini akan menjadi lebih baik bila orang tidak me-matematika-kan sesuatu dengan gampangnya. 'Saya sudah bermain 1 jam, sekarang saya mau belajar pula selama 1 jam'. Di lain sisi orang lain bermain selama satu setengah jam dan belajar hanya setengah jam, dan hasil nya ternyata sama. Anda pernah merasakan hal seperti ini? Tentunya karena ada pengukuran tersendiri di dalam setengah jam tersebut. Setengah jam bagi satu orang bisa jadi 2 jam bagi Anda? 'Saya mendapat nilai 100 dan dia 50.', atau 'Saya mendapatkan hasil pemungutan suara sebanyak 2 kali lipat hasil dia.' Apakah berarti Anda lebih baik 2 kali lipat dibanding orang lain?

Di dalam perusahaan, semakin lama jam lembur seorang karyawan maka gajinya akan semakin bertambah. Namun hal yang dia kerjakan selama 10 jam bernilai 2 jam, karena dia kelelahan, atau karena dia sibuk dengan urusan yang lain-lain. Bisa dilihat, sebagian besar atasan lebih memilih gaji per hari dibanding gaji per bulan. Bukan karena takut si karyawan bolos dan lantas mereka untung sehari, tapi si atasan mengharapkan gaji per hari ini lebih sesuai dengan pengukuran hasil mereka yang sebenarnya, bahkan beberapa bisnis memberi upah berdasarkan hasil yang diperoleh. Mereka tidak mau melihat matematika bahwa karyawan bekerja 8 jam dan lantas menggaji selama 8 jam namun yang mereka hasilkan kurang lebih hanya 4 jam, misalnya.

Saya tidak mengatakan bahwa matematika itu tidak realistis. Matematika bukanlah ilmu yang dapat mengukur kerealistisan suatu permasalahan. Namun matematika dapat membantu Anda dalam hal tersebut. Sayangnya bila hanya matematika saja yang Anda gunakan di otak Anda, maka Anda tidak lagi realistis.

Bluetooth 3.0

Bluetooth 3.0 officially launched

The latest version of Bluetooth, Bluetooth 3.0 + HS, was officially launched during a recent meeting among the Bluetooth Special Interest Group (SIG).

Based off of the 802.11 protocol, Bluetooth 3.0 will increase transfer speeds from 3Mbps up to an impressive 23Mbps, according to Bluetooth supporters. The technology is based on Wi-Fi standards and offers power-saving benefits that weren't available with Bluetooth 2.1.

"Utilizing the 802.11 radio was a natural choice as it provides efficiencies for both our members and consumers -- members get more function out of the two radios they are already including in devices, and consumers with Bluetooth 3.0 HS products will get faster exchange of information without changing how they connect," Bluetooth SIG director Michael Foley said in a statement. "We are excited to expand the possibilities of the PAN."

During the announcement, Bluetooth 3.0 is expected to be used to help transfer large amounts of information between PCs and media devices, with wireless syncing available. Bluetooth has mainly been used by mobile phones, but the faster speeds should lead to Bluetooth adoption with more camcorders, TVs, Blu-ray players, cameras, and other consumer devices.

Even though Bluetooth 3.0 is out and about, many manufacturers are just now catching up to the Bluetooth 2.0 standard. Furthermore, no Bluetooth 3.0 devices are available on the consumer at the moment, and won't begin shipping until Q3 this year, if that early.

Tech journalists and analysts long-anticipated the launch of Bluetooth 3.0, and have high expectations of what it will be able to do in the future. Users will be able to transfer music library, DVDs, and photos all in a matter of seconds, a Bluetooth SIG statement said last week.

Foley said there could be a handful of Bluetooth 3.0 devices in time for the 2009 holiday shopping, but officials don't expect a significant amount of products until next year.

link source : here

Bluetooth 3.0 Transfer Speed Demo

Interview with Anggun

An old interview with Anggun. Just somehow inspirational for me about nationalism, but in some points I say, she over generalized Eastern and Western ;D

Unfortunately I can't get any valid source from this blog.
credit: source link

Ini versi yang belum diedit, untuk rubrik 20Q edisi Nopember kemarin. Wawancara dengan Anggun dilakukan di kantor Universal Music Indonesia, Senin [10/7]. Selama 45 menit lewat sambungan telepon internasional.

Video klip “Saviour” dilarang diputar di indonesia, bagaimana perasaan Anda?

Anehnya dilarang di Indonesia, tapi tetap saja dimainkan, waktu aku datang ke Indonesia untuk promo konser, setiap kali datang ke acara tv, video itu diputar. [tertawa]. Jadi sebenarnya, itu dilarang apa tidak? Maksudnya, officially itu dilarang. Tapi sebenarnya bisa diputar.

Padahal, penampilan Anda di video itu tidak vulgar.

Yang aku sebelnya di Indonesia, kalau kita menggunakan kata-kata seperti seksi, sensual. Kita kan tidak terbiasa dengan kata-kata itu. Jadi mereka kebanyakan suka salah kaprah. Aku pernah ditulis di salah satu Koran, sebelum konser yang di JHCC kemaren. Ditulisnya, ‘Anggun berjanji akan tampil vulgar.’ Sebenarnya arti vulgar untuk orang Indonesia itu apa? Sayangnya para wartawan Indonesia itu nggak ikut sekolah jurnalistik. Nggak ikut sekolah sastra untuk tau bahwa setiap kata itu ada artinya. Nah kalau vulgar, arti vulgar itu apa? Sensual itu apa? Seksi itu apa? Jadi, kalau aku dibilang vulgar, sebenarnya aku dituding sekali. Karena apakah vulgar itu, sesuatu yang hubungannya dengan ikat pinggang ke bawah. Atau, apakah itu kalau misalnya lihat orang pake short, celana pendek, Bermuda, itu vulgar? Apa pake baju renang itu vulgar? Apa telanjang itu vulgar? Masalahnya di Indonesia tuh, nggak ada akses untuk melihat sesuatu yang bisa kita bandingkan. Jadi, karena dari dulu dibilang ini dilarang, jadi kalau lihat perempuan yang agak terbuka sedikit, bilangnya langsung vulgar. Itu kan jorok? Masa sih, aku dibilang jorok. Maksudnya apa? Jangan sampai wartawan-wartawan Indonesia membina kesalahpahaman ini.

Di lagu “Undress Me”, Anda minta diingatkan kalau tidak jadi diri Anda sendiri. Dalam kehidupan nyata, seberapa sering itu terjadi?

Setiap aku bikin lagu, itu bukan melulu otobiografi. Undress me itu sebenarnya hanya metamorfosis. Kalau cuma dilihat kalimat undress me, sudah jelas itu telanjangi saya. Tapi kalau kita lihat kalimat sebelumnya. ‘when I wear my bad moods to my mouth, you should undress me.’ Jadi, itu bukan baju yang dicopot. Jadi, kata-kata jelekku, kejahatanku kalau aku bicara. Bad mood lah. Makanya, jangan melulu ngambil satu kalimat, karena ini pasti salah kaprah. Dan ini pasti membina kesalahkaprahan.

Maksudnya, dalam kehidupan nyata, seberapa sering Anda bad mood?

Namanya juga perempuan. Setidaknya, seminggu sekali kami boleh bad mood. [tertawa]. Kan hormonal.

Di salah satu situs, saya baca Anda bilang, “Love is when you wake up in the morning and have a big smile.” Kenapa Anda bisa berkata seperti itu?

Itu buat aku memang benar. Cuma, sekarang cinta itu tidak melulu kebahagiaan. Kadang-kadang cinta bertepuk sebelah tangan. Jadi, kebahagiaan itu sangat relatif. Apakah kita bisa bahagia melihat dia bahagia? Jadi buat aku, sekarang, sebenarnya arti kata itu, kalau kita bangun dan tidur, kan ada hari yang berjalan. Apa yang terjadi di situ.

Apa bedanya bekerja dengan musisi indonesia dibandingkan musisi luar?

Bedanya kalau musisi luar sangat menghargai waktu. Lebih apa ya, pokoknya kalau jam karet itu kan, Indonesia banget. Sangat disiplin, sangat menghargai waktu. Sangat menghargai orang. Menghargai waktu tuh, ya ampun mas, kalau di Indonesia, menunggu itu sudah jadi sesuatu yang cultural. Makanya, kalau aku datang ke Indonesia, setiap kali aku menunggu wartawan, atau nunggu apapun. Kesannya tuh aku tidak dihargai. Kalau aku datang ke Indonesia, kan waktunya sempit sekali. Ini sudah sempit, mereka telat.

Intinya, soal disiplin waktu?

Aku cuma bisa bilang tentang musisi aku ya. Mereka nggak punya ego. Kebanyakan musisi di sini, kalau dipilih jadi musisi untuk artis, egonya itu ya artisnya itu. Musisi aku, setiap aku ke panggung, mereka nanya aku, boleh nggak pakai baju ini. Nah aku kan provide mereka dengan wardrobe. Aku inginnya mereka pakai hitam semua. Pokoknya aku kasih dresscode. Jadi segala sesuatunya minta ijin aku. Dulu, tahun ’90-an waktu aku kerja dengan musisi Indonesia, waktu itu mereka ka nasal-asalan saja.

Selain musiknya, apa sebenarnya yang membedakan Anggun sekarang dengan Anggun era ’90-an?

Ya bedanya dari semua sisi. Penampilan, musik, semua hal. Beda tuh pasti. Untungnya berbeda. Coba kalau sama. Itu kan justru saya malah yang khawatir.

Skala satu sampai sepuluh, berapa Anda menilai perkembangan karir Anda sekarang?

Aku sama sekali tidak mengukur begitu. Aku sama sekali bukan ibu guru. Nggak mau ngasih angka. Segala sesuatunya ada logikanya, ada prosesnya. Kalau kita ngasih angka, kesannya tuh kita nggak menghargai proses hidup, atau proses kehidupan seseorang.

Lantas, definisi sukses menurut Anda?

Sukses itu kalau kita bisa berhasil tanpa harus menjual diri dengan kemusikan saya. Jadi, nggak bikin kompromi yang akan saya sesalkan.

Bagaimana Anda melihat sosok Anda ketika memakai baret dan sepatu boots?

Ya sekarang lucu aja. Soalnya namanya juga proses. Itu kan awal ’90. Ya orang-orang dulu pakai bajunya seperti itu. Mungkin tidak berbaret ya, tapi rambutnya dulu ya aku pakai permanent. Ke sekolah ya begitu semua. Jadi nggak aneh.

Tahu tidak? Video klip “Tua Tua Keladi” masih diputar di salah satu tempat karaoke di Jakarta.

Justru waktu aku kemarin konser, aku bilang sama mas Jay, aku ingin daripada punya opening act, aku ingin opening act-nya lagu-lagu lamaku. Supaya orang-orang lihat aku tuh begini. Sekarang begini. Mereka jadi lihat proses perubahan atau metamorfosis seorang Anggun.

Kemarin sempat tinggal di Kanada ya. Apa bedanya tinggal di Kanada dengan Paris?

Sebenarnya aku bisa tinggal di mana saja. Cuma di Paris lebih praktis saja. Karena pekerjaan aku kan terpusat di sini.

Apa sih yang Anda rindukan dari Indonesia?

Aku rindu keluargaku, temen-temenku, sama suasana hidup di sana yang serba mudah.

Memang apa bedanya dibandingkan dengan tempat tinggal Anda sekarang?

Di sini, segala sesuatunya serba Euro. Mahal dong. Dan serba ini, segala sesuatunya lebih rumit orang-orangnya. Kadang-kadang harus bersilat lidah. Supaya mendapatkan sesuatu. Jadi kesannya, kita lebih akal-akalan. Di Indonesia kan segala sesuatunya gampang. Punya anak gampang. Kalau misalnya kerja, ada babysitter, ada orangtua. Di sini kan nggak. Mahal. Belum tentu dapat babysitter yang baik.

Lantas, bagaimana Anda memandang indonesia sekarang?

Yang aku lihat dari sini, Indonesia sedang banyak sialnya. Dari alamnya. Kemarin di Jogja, kemarin tsunami. Cuma sayangnya yang tadinya aku pikir kan, Indonesia itu sedang jatuh. Malah aku pikir, kita harus bangun. Eh aku malah dengar, yang tsunami kemarin masih banyak yang korupsi. Ya ampun, itu uang untuk korban malah dikorupsi. Aku jadi, sayangnya Negara kita tuh sebenarnya Negara yang kaya. Cuma kita tuh nggak bisa ngelolanya. Terlalu banyak orang yang punya mentalitas sangat feodal. Bertahun-tahun dijajah Belanda, sekarang dijajah bangsa sendiri.

Di salah satu tv, Anda bilang tidak mau lagi tinggal di sini. Waktu itu, karena RUU APP akan disahkan. Lantas, alasan utamanya karena karir, atau memang Indonesia sudah tidak nyaman lagi buat Anda?

Aku tidak pernah bilang, tidak mau lagi tinggal di Indonesia. Aku harus lihat dulu, bagaimana sisi ekonomisnya. Bagaimana sisi politiknya. Apakah Negara ini bisa bertoleransi. Kalau masih ada seperti Undang-Undang yang membuat kehidupan artis jadi lebih sempit, aku nggak mau. Kita jadi tidak bebas berkarya, bebas berpikir. Mana mau aku tinggal di Negara seperti itu. Sama saja seperti aku tidak ingin tinggal di Negara yang masih memberi hukuman mati ke seseorang. Karena buat aku, bukan manusia yang berhak atas hidup dan kematian seseorang. Makanya aku tidak bisa tinggal di Amerika. Karena masih ada hukuman mati. Di Indonesia juga.

Prancis bisa memberikan yang Anda harapkan?

Di Prancis sudah tidak ada hukuman mati dari tahun ’70-an. Dan enaknya di Prancis, seseorang berhak untuk berkarya dan membuat sesuatu yang mereka suka. Aku sangat menghargai itu. Cuma sayangnya di Prancis, pajaknya besar sekali. Wuuuuh. Aku bayar pajak bisa lima puluh persen. Jadi kalau tinggal di sini, dapat uang di sini, harus bayar. Walaupun Anda warga Negara Korea atau Cina.

Seberapa penting sih kewarganegaraan buat Anda?

Yang aku nggak sukanya dengan pertanyaan seperti ini, kesannya banyak orang nggak tahu. Padahal aku sudah ke kanan kiri menjelaskan kenapa aku pindah kewarganegaraan. Aku ganti warga Negara karena aku tidak dibantu sama pemerintah Indonesia. Kesuksesanku tidak dibantu sama sekali oleh orang Indonesia. Malah banyak orang Indonesia mengritik aku. Terus, sekarang aku sukses banyak orang bilang, ‘Oh dia seperti kacang lupa kulitnya. Ganti kewarganegaraan. Padahal, sama sekali nggak ada hubungannya dengan itu. Aku tuh kadang-kadang suka menyesal memberi informasi ini, karena banyak orang menuding dan bicara yang nggak nggak. Tapi dari dulu memang sudah seperti ini. Dikritik justru sama orang dari negeri sendiri. Orang lain bilang nggak ada masalah. Tapi buat orang Indonesia ada masalah.

Ada yang mempersoalkan nasionalisme ya?

Karena kan buat kebanyakan orang Indonesia, dan kebanyakan yang ditulis tentang kewarganegaraan, aku tuh dibilang meninggalkan Indonesia, kawin dengan orang bule, terus sekarang sangat sudah tidak Indonesia lagi. Sekarang malah justru akunya meninggalkan kewarganegaraan Indonesia. Buat mereka, aku sudah nggak Indonesia lagi. Padahal, apakah warna buku sekecil itu, yang ukurannya lima belas dan sepuluh centimeter mengukur kenasionalismean seseorang? Kan nggak juga. Kalau segala sesuatu diukur karena ah yang penting dia paspornya masih Indonesia, tapi kelakuannya tuh sangat tidak pro Indonesia, ngomongnya ke-Barat-baratan, terus sangat melecehkan Negara sendiri. Apakah itu lebih penting di mata Indonesia? Apakah lebih penting orang seperti aku? Yang mencoba mengangkat nama Indonesia dari luar, tapi tidak pernah dibantu sedikit pun oleh pemerintah. Malah dibantu Pemerintah Prancis.

Bantuan seperti apa sih yang diharapkan?

Aku tuh ingin dibantu seperti misalnya dipermudah soal visa. Makanya, aku minta ke orang KBRI. Karena orang KBRI banyak fasilitas. Jadi, aku datang ke Pak Dubes, aku tanya, Pak Dubes bisa nggak aku kasih fasilitas tertentu, supaya aku dipermudah setiap kali aku promosi ke Negara-negara. Setiap Senin, aku bangun setengah tujuh pagi, ke kantor-kantor kedutaan asing. Nah itu kan setiap hari. Aku kan harus kerja. Jadi, bukan pekerjaan aku ngantri untuk visa. Malah ada di beberapa Negara yang pasporku ditolak. Aku minta sama Pak Dubes, bisa nggak aku minta fasilitas? Dia malah bilang, ‘Nggak ah nggak bisa. Wong anakku juga nggak dapat kok.’ Memangnya, anaknya Pak Dubes tuh ngapain? Mereka paling sekolah di luar. Aku kan beda.

Perlakuan Pemerintah Prancis berbeda?

Justru aku malah dapat penghargaan. Karena aku mengangkat kultur Prancis di luar. Kebalik banget. Aku setiap kali wawancara dengan wartawan luar, mengangkat nama Indonesia. Aku bela-belain kalau ada masalah. Waktu Playboy kantornya dihancurkan, mereka nanya ke aku. Langsung aku bela-belain sampai berdarah-darah. Nah yang begitu, orang-orang nggak pernah lihat. ‘Kok, kamu ganti warga Negara sih? Nah, masalahnya yang Negara Indonesia kasih ke aku apa? Kenapa selalu akunya dituntut. Aku minta bantuan sekali saja.

Anda sakit hati karena itu?

Nggak. Cuma kaget saja. Kalau aku disinggung masalah ini dengan cara kesannya tuh dilecehkan. Dulu waktu aku pertama kali datang ke Indonesia dengan album pertama, “Snow on the Sahara”. Ada wartawan yang ngomong ke aku pakai bahasa Inggris. Karena mereka pikir aku sudah lupa bahasa Indonesia. Aku merasa tersinggung, sakit hati. Mungkin banyak artis Indonesia yang ngomongnya tuh setiap kali wawancara pakai bahasa Inggris. Setiap dua kata pakai bahasa Inggris, atau mengakhiri kalimatnya dengan kata-kata bahasa Inggris. Aku nggak!

Di negeri sendiri, Anda diperlakukan seperti itu ya?

Dan aku dituding. Karena sudah tidak tinggal di Indonesia lagi. Dan karena aku sudah tidak punya paspor Indonesia. Padahal, itu sama sekali bukan kemauan aku. Jadi, ironisnya tuh begitu. Tapi nggak apa-apa sih. Karena aku sekarang tidak peduli. Aku Cuma peduli sama pendapat keluargaku, teman-temanku, orang-orang yang aku kenal. Selain itu, yang mereka nggak kenal aku, terus ngritik, aku nggak mau dengar. Buat aku, itu bukan sesuatu yang normal. Setiap kali lihat di situs-situs, yang mengritik selalu orang Indonesia. Orang Italia memuji. Orang Amerika memuji. Orang Indonesia, ya ampun, ‘Videonya jelek. Fotonya jelek. Liriknya kok begitu?’ Jadi, aku selalu dikritik sama orang Indonesia. Kan aneh.

Menurut Anda kenapa?

Nggak ngerti. Makanya, aku tuh kesannya nggak mau membikin usaha untuk mereka. Jadi salah kaprah. Kalau aku nggak ngomong, dituding juga. Kalau ngomong, dituding lagi. Jadi, sekarang aku masa bodoh. Ini karirku. Ini hidupku. Pasporku. Aku nggak minta ijin dari siapapun. Sekarang satu-satunya orang yang bisa menolong aku, ya diri aku. Aku nggak mau mendengar kritik-kritik yang nggak membangun. Itu aku masa bodohin. Ya kita balik lagi ke titik awal. Menghargai usaha. Mungkin karena di Indonesia, banyak yang system apresiasinya berbeda. Aku pernah lihat konser orang Indonesia. Banyak yang VIP-nya, sudah pulang. Aku nonton konser salah satu diva. Pak pejabat datangnya telat satu jam. Datang dengan dua belas orang. Itu kan mengganggu orang lain. Dan kita tidak tahu cara mengapresiasi sesuatu. Usaha orang. Waktu orang. Bakat orang. Di Indonesia banyak orang pintar, tapi sayangnya kita tidak pernah diajari apresiasi.

Di luar lebih bagus ya soal apresiasi?

Jangan salah ya. Nggak semua yang di luar itu lebih bagus. Cuma, karena kita bicara soal apresiasi. Jangan disamaratakan dengan hal lain. Di luar tuh, ada debat. Misalnya, Playboy dibilang jahanam. Mereka terlalu sering dibilang seperti ini. Jadi salah kaprah. Jadi percaya. Padahal yang lebih parah dari Playboy lebih banyak. Sayangnya, tidak ada tempat untuk berdebat. Kalau di sini, kalau ada satu topic yang akan mengganggu. Orang-orang tukar pikiran. Debat. Masing-masing memberi opini. Jadi semua tahu. Di Indonesia kan nggak. Ini menjatuhkan perempuan lah. Ya nggak dong. Sayang aja.

Bagaimana pendapat Anda soal banyak musisi indonesia yang bilang ingin go international?

Lah wong akunya dulu juga begitu. Yang jelas, sekarang jangan ngomong aja. Bertindak.

Apa kritik Anda untuk industri musik di Indonesia?

Aku sama sekali nggak punya kritik-kritik yang apa-apa. Aku bukan pakar musik. Yang aku lihat cuma, ya ada tempat ada market untuk semua jenis musik. Yang aku sayangkan, jangan sampai pemerintah Indonesia menghalangi musikalitas seorang artis dan juga kehidupan artis. Pokoknya, dari cara dia mengekspresikan diri. Apakah dia dalam musik, dalam kata-kata, cara dia bergaya. Soalnya sebagai seorang musisi, artis kan kesannya bebas. Seperti pelukis, seperti pemahat. Pokoknya kalau dalam bidang seni, harus dilihat dan dinilai dari mata seni.

Apakah Anda mendokumentasikan karya-karya Anda dengan baik?

Nggak juga. Sebenarnya itu sama sekali bukan pekerjaannya seorang artis. Itu bukan tugas aku.Aku sama sekali nggak begitu koleksi. Justru banyak fansku yang koleksi. Mereka kasih lihat aku, ya ampun kamu dapat ini dari mana?

Sepayah itukah pria Indonesia sehingga anda memilih pria asing?

Nggak juga. Soalnya kan kalau kita jatuh cinta, itu tidak diatur. Dulu waktu masih SMP suka ditanya, ingin pacar yang gimana? Inginnya yang tinggi, yang lucu, segala macam. Itu kan kita tidak tahu kalau kita jatuh cinta. Apakah kita bisa mendisiplinkan hati? Nggak juga kan? Dan kebetulan karena nggak ada orang Indonesia yang naksir aku.

Apa bedanya pria asing dengan pria Indonesia?

Nggak tahu. Wong dulu pacaran dengan orang Indonesia waktu SMP dan SMA. Mungkin kalau pria Indonesia itu, suka sok kuasa. Segala sesuatunya harus minta ijin ke saya. Makanya, banyak sekali pertanyaan ke aku dari wartawan Indonesia, ‘Mbak suami mendukung nggak sih kegiatan mbak?’ Ya ampuun. Kalau suamiku nggak mendukung, ya suamiku aku pecat. Dianya kerja untuk aku. Jadi, di kultur Indonesia itu, segala sesuatu harus lewat suami dulu. Dibina supaya lelaki kuasanya lebih besar daripada perempuan. Perempuan harus cantik, supaya suaminya setia. Nah, kalau suaminya gemuk, nggak merawat diri. Istrinya bisa lari dong. Makanya, di generasi aku, kami menuntut yang sama dari laki-laki. Kami juga ingin laki-laki yang sosialitasnya bagus, yang bisa masak, yang bisa jaga anak, dan juga jagoan di tempat tidur. Masa kami diminta yang sama, laki-lakinya leha-leha begitu.

Sikap seperti ini sudah ada dari dulu, atau setelah tinggal di luar?

Ini kan setelah jadi dewasa. Segala sesuatu kan proses hidup. Dari pengalaman hidup, dari contoh-contoh yang dilihat dari kiri kanan, apakah keluarga, atau teman-teman. Aku kan sempat asosial sekali. Aku sangat hidup di sekelilingku, yang kawin cerai kawin cerai, mereka seperti apa hidupnya. Nah, dengan begitu aku sangat menekankan bahwa aku menuntut yang sama dari laki-laki. Dan buat aku, adil. Masa sih, kita jangan sampai lelaki menuntut keperawanan perempuan, sementara kita tidak bisa menuntut keperawanan laki-laki. Pokoknya, jangan sampai hak kemunafikan itu tidak boleh hanya di lelaki saja. Perempuan juga boleh.

Ada kelompok musik/penyanyi indonesia yang menarik minat Anda sekarang?

Aku suka Peterpan. Aku suka melodinya dia. Aku suka suaranya Agnes Monica. Aku suka Candil. Ooh. Dia kan Mariah Carey-nya Indonesia. Aku nge-fans banget sama Seurieus. Mereka musikalitasnya oke. Tapi menghibur. Lucu, tapi serius. Pokoknya waktu mereka bilang, aliran musiknya Happy Metal. Emang bener sih. [tertawa]. Itu konsep musik yang oke. Aku punya album mereka semua.

Album paling berkesan buat Anda?

And Justice for All dari Metallica. Itu masa remajaku banget. Dan sampai sekarang, kalau aku mau bernostalgia, pasti dengernya itu.

Shinjuku Incident

In cinemas 2 April 2009.

Facts

Jackie Chan introduced several surprising facts in this movie. Being a martial actor for decades, he is now moving into drama. For fans who are highly anticipating for his fast movements, kicks, jumps here and there, it's not a good recommendation to watch this. After watching this movie, I did not see any kungfu action here. Once being attacked, he keeps running and running the whole time. He did rifles, guns. The whole 'incidents' will be what you usually see in western movies. No kungfu at all, but does not mean it's a bunch of crying scene here. No, there is no sad crying scene here.

The second new fact is, he turns to be a bad person here, yeah extremely bad. It's all about crime. Stealing expensive items, doing tricks in his gaming center, selling fake phone cards & credit cards, and many many many more deceptions done to get money, power. You will see he kills several big bosses here for the sake of money, and maybe, love. Is to sleep with prostitutes considered a crime?? lol. He did many strange scene never done before in his career.



Storyline

I personally get difficult to get into the time dimension at first, or maybe I'm too fool for that, not sure. The story then begins in 1990s where many Chinese immigrants are planning to illegally enter Japan. I really get confused in the beginning but I guess the reason is for a better living. Once a small opportunity comes, finally they arrived there. Chan's girlfriend Xu Jinglei (as XiuXiu a.k.a Yuko) went there for a job leaving Chan alone. For years he went back and forth tried to get contact with his beloved but finally they get lost. With full of confusion he tried hard to get to Japan, where countless of problems come one after another. He found his good friend Daniel Wu (as Jie) and many other friends. They end up a group of Chinese struggling to face local gangster there. The biggest one in this story is called Yakuza.

Ending

I can't believe it. The chinese group comes to Japan just to put their lives in the end. No one of Chan's Chinese friends in the gang left. It's more tragic that some of them end by killing each another, where before they struggle for friends' lives even risking ownselfs. Daniel Wu's life is the most tragic one.

Casts

I dont find any special acts from Jackie Chan. I'm just impressed with Daniel Wu's acting here. It may be caused of his role which needs more energy to put into. Chan's role is just so so for me. Masaya Kato's face really suits his role...lolz The same thing also with Xu Jinglei.

Message

In the end a sentence is displayed. Hmm, I question why they try the easiest effort for it. That's about a real story of illegal Chinese immigrants secretly moved into Japan during 1990s.

In my personal thoughts, it's about an extremely difficult life of foreigners in Japan. Though Japan was already a much modern country during the period, they cannot afford any foreigners to be aside. The film is not pointing at racisms but the Chinese foreigners really get suffered even till the end of their lives. Second may should be about friendships, betrayal. Third is what always exists in poor countries. In this film Chan reminded her girlfriend not to move to Japan since she will never come back once succeeded and she still never believed it. Finally she really did not move back.

Violence

Absolutely not for children, believe it. I try to close my eyes when Wu's hand is slaughtered in an extreme way, I never imagined before. And then that shattered hand is crashed. I cannot sleep peacefully in the night >< though I loved his acting in this scene. He gets it. In the end, one in the gang slaughters his friend's neck. hhuuuufffff...... This is what Jackie Chan delivered to us for exchange of kungfu, lolzzz..

Sacredly Agnezious

Perhaps this is one of the most anticipated album after Peterpan's Hari Yang Cerah (2007) which was released in a gap of more than one year than previous album, plus they took almost a year hiatus during that time. Sacredly Agnezious is released nearly 3.5 years after Agnes' second album. The first single was introduced one year ago and the album name was announced several months after. This album also her remarks as a song composer, where she never did in before.

Background

I remembered Indo's VJ Daniel mentioned many times during June/July 2008 in MTV Ampuh that Agnes was working on two albums, one indonesian and one international, in which she would be the producer, first breakthrough for her. In August finally she officially announced title of her new album, and surprisingly, there was no updated information about the album, till March 2009.

First new song revealed is 'Matahariku', as soundtrack for her TV serial in early 2008. Being surprised that the song got so high popularity that reached ringbacktone number of around 1 million, the label company immediately produced an MV for the song, resulted in her simplest video so far. Second single is 'Godai Aku Lagi'. The main difference from 'Matahariku' is that GAL was released as the expected strongest song in the new album, not by chance. The MV was released in August'08 and together with 'Matahariku', both songs are released as a single titled 'NEZ'. This single also remarked that her album was postponed without any valid reasons.

Tracklist:
1. Godai Aku Lagi
Agnes' first own composed song. I listened to this song firstly around late July/early August '08 from radio. First impression was, 'what song is this?!#$%@ '. However later I found that the melody is so catchy and strong enough. I think the song might be better if the whole main background music was Pop-R&B instead of electro/disco/Hip-Hop, because this kind of music will not get into Indonesian music, at all, ever. I love the song more after the video was created. It's cool but the problem is, am I watching a few seconds of Rihanna here??
MV


2. Janji Janji
Simply love it. The only song that reminds me of her previous album. The rests are new styles. I hope this will be the 4th single. Sadly this is rather disappointed that in this album there is no huge upbeat song like 'Bilang Saja' or 'Tak Ada Logika'.

3. Hanya Menunggu
Electro/HipHop genre which is now so popular in the US. Actually there are several genres in this song. I get bored in the middle. The ending gets interesting though. But, hey I hear 'baby boy' in the end, it's Beyonce's trademark, but okay whatever. Weakest upbeat song in this album, but not that bad.

4. Teruskanlah
3rd single. Its music video was released together with the album. I love the high pitch in the last reff. Nothing interesting actually.
MV


5. Coz I Love You
Most beautiful , relaxing song in the album, in terms of music, lyric, and voice. She sang this so softly that the first verse reminds me of Sherina lol. I wish either this or 'Rapuh' will be the next ballad single. She composed the song together with Sandy, but I guess the main melody was done by Sandy.

6. A. G. N. E. Z
Interesting song. So much English used here. Although composed together with Yudis, I guess she wrote the whole lyric. I am wondering who a rapper featuring in this song is.
Album Launching (April 1, 2009)


7. Berlebihan
Another Sandy's composition, but somehow I get bored for first one minute. The rest is so nice. Maybe because I do not like jazzy song lol. Nothing special for me in this song except her vocal performance. As the title says, it's a six-minutes length song!!

8. Matahariku
Absolutely the best ballad, personally I think her best ballad ever as well as her best performance for any ballads. I wonder how come the label could not predict this song to be a huge hit. They did the video so instant. Although she appears beautifully, this song reserved much better quality video than that. Her vocal here is very dynamic. Sometimes I think it's too much. I don't know it's a good sign or bad, but for me it's perfect. I think she recorded this song many times, and the result is perfect, but she herself cannot sing this song live that dynamic. Love the intro, verse, chorus, interlude, and perfect ending. Just perfect. Surprise!! The composer is a new comer in the industry...
MV


9. Shake It Off
Bali!!!! Yeah I imagined Balinese culture everytime listening to this song, makes me want to go there one day T_T. Sang (no, lipsync actually) first time in October'08 Asia Song Festival in South Korea, she showed another self-composed song by her. Maybe a new innovation. She mentioned it's a mix of many genres. For me, Erwin Gutawa's arrangement affects it more pop than should be, although his arrangement is extremely great. The music sounds using many traditional instruments. First part of the lyric is Indonesian, followed by English in the rest. I wish this is the 4th single, but because of too many English used, I doubt it will. My only problem is, what is the meaning/message of this song???
Asia Song Festival (Oct'08)


10. Rapuh
As predicted. this song is so great. No one wondering if they know the composer is Badai 'Kerispatih'.

There are another 3 songs for intro-interlude-outro.

As conclusion, does the album worth 3 years ++ of anticipation?

(don't) let him rest in peace

I always think hundred times to post something about this criminal case. There are already too many speculations popped up around blogs, forums, etc. I was before in hope of Singapore police quick investigations, let what the univ President said not to speculate, and said nothing to any single person, but they are, even local media, not cooperating well.

Today's univ biweekly newspapers are coming out and one article, a bit represents all nationalities except Indonesian, is all pointing to us, his friends for sensationalize the news, creating out the whole speculations, telling different persons different stories. Are we wrong?? The main point now is, back 3-4 weeks before, the whole world was suddenly staring at us, at a friend of yours, who was reported to stab his prof and jumped. Get the point?? At the first few hours right after the incident, even the victim's friend posted in facebook how shocked he is, "never imagine a friend you see everyday can do that". See that? Everyone wants to sit down, and pray for him, wait for any news and not speculate.

The first day passed with shocks, and unexpectedly some persons started speculating and continuing the buzz. All people may see them all crazy. Then after several days, local media rectified their previous statements that he actually did NOT jump. How come they put wrong statements? People are questioning. Why did you put any judgments before even a single proof? Well no one can remake the buzz again so that everyone again look at you and you can say, 'hey the news was wrong!!'. What done is done. Then the questions will come, if it is not the media who is wrong, then who? Did you get the source from someone? Then who is he? I will never let the lier guy rest in peace . . .

Imagine this happened to your friends, people may not point at a name, but they will say, how can a Singaporean, how can a Indonesian, how can that nationality. . . and you got no reaction?? Are you saying, 'well, let those stupid people say anything about this case, let what has done done, let us now let our beloved friend rest in peace' . . .Be realistic man!!!

I got mad with someone said 'they sensationalize', hey who's started?! At least those people did not mention that they were right, even if they intentionally put fake things, it's forum, it's blog, but it's the media who spread the fake news, yeah they are the FIRST!

Lastly, think logically, the stabbed was getting well very soon and surely at that time all people were waiting for confirmations, but he disappeared??? If you want to take just a few seconds to think - which is the most difficult activity people would do, makes them lazy to think - , you will realize that you will be extremely wondering if the people around will still keep quiet and do nothing for one month. I know that I know nothing at all for this, but guys, if you know nothing, never bother of persons spread the things on the Internet, at least, they know better than you ><

edited: i just realized this very contradictory with what I post before but ya i change my mind after the gov, police, media, have not yet cooperated with this case well

A Feeling of Regret

Back to around 2 - 2.5 years from now.

It's my happy high school time where the whole class made a joke everyday. There's a quite shocking news from a well-known university in US. Yeah u all must know that, what else can make a university headline in all news around the world other than that. Simply the class made a joke about that without me as an exception. People will make a joke of something far from them or they never think can happen around them.

Yeah that's what I felt during that time.

As u know what I'm going to say. The same thing surprisingly happened here, the place where I studied. I even cannot think what will happen to students waiting for their entrance tests right now, what the people around here will perceive me, as the same nationality as him, don't know whether it's important ~ but same race as well. I felt regret that I ever made a joke of that during high school and now I know that I should not do that lolz~~~~~

Yeah can feel the mourning atmosphere here. Half of my facebook status filled with condolences, sympathy, etc etc.

A group of students from senior high school were joking about that ~like what I did during high school lolzzzz~ from some time till someone stopped them.

In a huge forum, someone -admitted to be the suspect's friend during high school- post it and less than 3 hours it immediately became the hottest post. It's not wrong to post a huge buzz as information to be spread among but to put his own opinion~speculation is crazy, even the media haven't put any confirmation about that and he far away proudly told the speculation. Even the suspect's friends here stayed calm.

I can say he's proud of the news and I ever felt the same, when a buzz comes near me at that time I felt a bit spirited to spread the news everywhere-whatever the news is-, you may not feel it but there's a feeling of proud, happy that you know better than others, proud that you are closer with him compared to persons asking you.

Out of topic, maybe this is the hundredth or thousandth times I felt disturbed by Facebook. It's not like what I ever post (for this case only, actually I still do), a group of stupid and extremely idle people make a bunch of comments day by day for only a single photo. It's almost one week already and everyday I open my Facebook there's 20s-50s announcements and all from the same photo. Even I don't know what the picture is about. Now I will NEVER know if someone comments in my OWN photos, because of the bitches doing not important think and the whole things in my announcement full with those bitches. I swear if not because all my friends joined FB I will never get back to that site.


Whoever the suspect is, I felt really sorry for him. Although I don't know who he is, I hope he's not absolutely wrong but yeah the truth should come out.
And I'm glad the victim is getting well.
Lastly for president of the univ, he's so great not to make everyone panic and every activity is held as usual as if nothings happen. His mass email is the best choice he could do as the president.

Your best friend can be your worst enemy.

What's up with Valentine???

Valentine is a special day for couples to express their loves each other. Yeah you should know much more than I do so....

Actually this corresponds with a blog with one of my friends also today (dont be angry with me lol ~~). I do not know whether it's just me who is too less romantic, or some people look too much upon this v-day, but I feel so.

Everyone must agree that it's a special day, for once a year. Because every couple showed their love relationship without a shy since it's a special day for them, those who are single might envy them. Sometimes I feel some teenagers view this day too far ~or again, maybe it's just me who is too ~dont-care-wtf-it-is~ (can someone tell me??lol).

That everyone realizes what day it is, I sometimes feel that it's not that romantic. If you want to express your true feeling to your beloved one, then -let's say a girl- she might already know that you will do it in v-day. It's very normal but I just feel it's not surprised anymore, not so special anymore to do it in v-day, but unlike me, many people still feel the same thing year by year. If you do sth special for someone, then she ~again just IMO~ wont feel to be the happiest girl in the world at that time, as millions of people in the world feel the same or maybe much more than it. I'd probably do it in his bday or any special day never be thought of her.

I never feel controlled by those special days. I wouldn't mind sleeping on the new year countdown -although never did that :) -, wouldn't mind just staying at home not collecting angpau in front of tv from morning to morning again in chinese new year -although almost never did that :) -, wouldn't be burdened of being single and get/give nothing whenever valentine comes.

Just never get the point why a girl may sit sadly -'mourning'- in her room when she has no bf in vday, so do some boys. Is it just me who is too crazy for not feeling the same way?? I need someone advices right now T_T

Ouch, I'm going to sleep ~~~~~~~~

Queue

It's about 7 months ago, I got from my uncle, happened in a famous huge shopping centre in Singapore, maybe less than 1 minute..

It's such a long queue in an afternoon at the cashier. A man at most front of the queue was about to put his shopping goods on the cashier table for payment. Suddenly an old lady came to the cashier and put her shopping cart on the cashier table and stood there waiting for the cashier to process payment. The cashier then told the old lady to queue first and she replied that she's on hurry and had no time for queuing. Maybe the cashier was afraid to refuse and put the old lady in anger, hence said, "If the man behind you give a permission for you to proceed, than it's fine, otherwise you still have to queue no matter what." She really asked the man but the man quickly answered, "If you asked me before, I would have replied yes."

I don't feel it's important anymore to ask my uncle what happened next.

President

I often think to be a President is one of the toughest job existing. If you ever feel how tough it is to be a President of an organization, or a manager of a department, or a CEO of a company, then that's what it is when you want to get into politic world, except double the effort, burden. That's about the same in most countries, but not always means the more bucks you will get. You have to follow the culture of the country to get into high position before then get a higher power to change the culture.

If I said President is might be the toughest job, then politic may be the toughest field. Even to be a lawyer is tough. When one just graduated from university he will have to compete with others in that field, and there is no senior or junior there. All fields have about the same difficulties to succeed in - given you have a distinctive level of ability in it- but I found many lawyers not recommending their children to be lawyers. People want their children to be doctors, pilots, engineers, scientist, professor, artists, etc - do not consider any kinds of negative professions thiefs etc etc here :) - but not with politicians. It's a special field, it's all about culture, society, and power. When you want to be an engineer, pilot, artists, it's all about how much money you have to spend in (studying, establishing first career), your interests, your ability, your connections with other people, your level of intelligence + hardworking, your working experiences, but politics has more requirements for you to get in, again, depends on the culture.

When it's in America while black and white still exist as a matter, black people suffer in politics, when it's in Indonesia while chinese or native still exist as a matter, waiting for a chinese descendant to be a President is more or less the same like waiting for an Obama to be a US President. When it's in Singapore where chinese or indians or malays does not matter, then it will be different again. No other field has the same situation as this.

Back to topic.

I said it's tough not only because President is the most recognized people, or has the most power, but more than that. When Oprah strongly says an A in society, then it will likely that A will happen then. Everybody will listen everything she does - although not always follow her. However when it comes to President the situation is different.

When Michael Jackson decided to move to other religion and even changed his name people may love him more or even curse him, when Madonna believes in one religion many people disagree with many people will curse her, when Zidane did something huge in World Cup watched by billion people then it's became a huge deadline in media, but for President it's different.

People may chase for celebrities but people have different celebrities to deal with. When they feel tired of Amy Winehouse buzz they will no longer even want to know about it, but when it comes for President, everyone will look at you, no matter they like you or not, no matter what you are doing, good or bad.

When a prominent person in earth died it may be because of a crazy fan or a huge hater but once he deals with politics, the situation will be much different. There are still many rumours of the death of Princess Diana although it's a long long case. After decades, there are still rumours of the death of Marilyn Monroe. Although it's told about suicide, but rumous said her affairs with a much well-known politician contributed in her death. Many people wonder about how long a US President will live - already many cases in it.

Back talking about culture, when it's in Indonesia where many people are less educated, they will not understand what actions a Presidens do. When it's tougher for them - where most likely happens - then they will complain, even when you are right, but it's most likely you are false, no matter. When Indonesia's SBY increased fuel price as high as many people did not predict before, hundred millions people complained without knowing why he did so, but they know that it is not good for them. Then when he lowered fuel price only a bit, people will again complained. This happened when General Election was about to come but he has no other choice. Even this fuel price case will be difficult for him to be elected this year. As long as the decision is tough for society, they will not choose you and it's the nature of Indonesia as they are no longer believe in government and that's what every Indonesian President has to face. The challenge is how to change this society nature. How to make people believe in you.

Still looking at Indonesia - and culture, it is very unique and even extremely too unique to govern. No other countries as high populated as hundred millions people separated in about 10 main islands located too far each another, with extremely too many culture and norms to deal with, not to include it as one to have most natural disasters. It's already a common saying that Indonesia still exists in its common form (although losing Timor Leste) is much much a great miracle. US 50s states are connected each another but Japan's are not, but Indonesia is too large and its islands are separated too far away. To build a Singapore like what it is now is a proud of Lee Kuan Yew but if Indonesia is already what people hope must be a proud of dozens people. Even if we do not consider the natural disasters - it's not sure whether other Presidents around the world can govern it better. Corruptions everywhere for decades still has to be included as one part to deal with.

Now it faces difficulties. Society already considered goverment as rubbish. Almost every actions taken caused demonstrations. Java island as the most populated one may have more or less the same culture in general, but they have to consider others like Sumatra Kalimantan Sulawesi. When they take actions about pornography - something related to culture, it may be good for those main islands but people against it and protest that the action is not good for Bali and Papua. When they have to focus on too many problems in its capital Jakarta - floods traffic - other provinces like Aceh or Papua urged for their independence but they -and most people- hope Timor Leste is the last one to do so. It has an excellent side of tourism but has to deal with the terrorism issue. When everythings are likely to be settled fine in the place where it should be, then a huge tsunami take away thousands of people. It's not a joke but the President is still the person most likely to be pointing at even about the natural disasters. Purely natural disasters.

I'm talking too much about Indonesia but that's only what I know =D

Lucks

Some time ago I got a fellowship activity near here ~ and it's just a bit special for me that I can refresh what I have passed in the past which brought me here. And I sometimes feel my life is very flat (but interesting =D) but actually there's many things make it wonderful, either in good times or bad times.

In short, I shared about how I can get here, to tertiary education. I'm always thinking it's full of lucks. It's like a process and if that process is cut down into many events happened sequentially, and if every events have many possible choices I would go through, then at that time, I passed every events with the best possible choices. So if the events are multiple choices questions, then I score everything perfectly. If there is only one wrong answer, then the result will be much different. That's how I call it full of lucks.

Right after graduating from junior high school I had no choices but followed my parents advice to take an extra course of A' level for preparing to get into the university I may choose. Shortly, I had an intense training for full 3 years, both A' level specially Maths even with more than one teachers, plus a number of experience I got from a small Maths competition in schools with my friends. So I practiced that at both school and home and my life looks like full of Maths for that 3 years and in addition, I never myself gave a break for an English extra course. So Maths and English were to run concurrently and continuously.

Well now after the intro, in the end of semester 5 (last 2 sem) in my senior high I applied to the university. One for it, one specially for scholarship, and one for other university. And as I feared to happen, because of my just-fine grades during senior high I was rejected by the 2 but still waiting for the former one. The bad thing was that the rejection was a rejection for me to join the test. Even I could not join the test. That's fine because I knew the reason, already very clear, no doubt at all, because of my grades. Then comes the result for the former one. But wait these are the first lucks.

Briefly, I am in a small town so for years the entrance test was always conducted outside, so we have to compete with other students from other cities even to join the test. Because of any understandable reason ~ cause it'll be too long the test was conducted in my town (I thought it's city =p ). And this absolutely will be helpful so much for me that I had a bad score. How luck it is that even the bacth after me did not get that opportunity, which is, they will surely decreased the requirements because they could accept more people for having test. I never thought that even I could not take this advantage, I wasn't accepted even for test. I want to say but don't know to whom, why I cannot even try my best first to know that this is really not my fate, not to be my future, not my capabilities, not this not that. I can do nothing but just to support my friends. Only 6 persons including me not approved.

A few days after my instructor kindly recommended me back to the university for the hope of joining the test. After a full of hope waiting for it it's already a luck for me for having approved, together with one friend, even my cousin with grades much much greater than me didn't, while I'm still wondering till now what's the mysteries behind it.

Quickly to the entrance test, again by luck but for this time I was very sure I put whole my efforts in it such that I could do every questions without any one doubt. Although no one knows the score but I could put the lowest boundary of it. After the English test, then comes the Physics test. With that not too difficult question, I never imagined that I could not even score any 1 mark in it. I'm till now half sure that I got zero mark or may be a small bit higher. I thought myself if I were them, how come I approved a student into an engineering course with zero mark of its Physics although good mark in Maths. During the waiting-for-result period I did not blame myself and satisfied with all happen so far but never imagined that extremely bad Physics test. Even I finally find one other kind of scholarship but I could not apply because of its technical requirement.

And as you know -but no one knows the real reason- I was accepted. Even with no scholarship but it's my first choice course. I believe one of the main reason was the first choice of the courses. Without exaggerated, if the first choice was not Computer Science ~ an engineering course but no Physics in it~ then I had not been here right now, typing a blog with a full of spirit to know what's going on tomorrow in my class. I remembered months before I joined an IQ test but the result was so strange for me and didn't help so much for me in choosing courses. And till the end I had to make a final decision. That's around 0320 pm on my bed in my room, in front of a paper written 7 courses I had to cut down to 5 and sort it 1st to 5th. With a head full of uncertainties the arrangement was such that the 1st course is Computer Science and other 4 are 'real' engineering courses. From young till now I still want Architecture but if the university had that course I'm not sure the final result will be the same.

The last thing was about application system. In my batch they offered 3 choices whether we woud like to apply for scholarship only, or scholarship but loan is fine, or full tuition is fine. We suggested it's three levels - high to down- the mark we have to get, if we chose the first one then we had to ensure that we had an excellent mark. I chose the middle one and I would not think they will approve me if I chose the first one and as the result, I got no scholarship but loan, that's another luck.

During first year here and looked back to the past, compared to the present, looked to my other friends around the world, I'm so granted by GOD for having a course I enjoyed so much with a lot of nice friends I hoped I got and I did and a room I enjoyed as well, I thanks Him so much for what he arranged for me. The more I enjoy my life here the more blessed I think He gave me. And because of this I never complained anythings - to myself or Him or parents - when I got any difficulties. I'm already given such a nice set and I just thought what I should do tomorrow to solve every problems and try not to stress myself, because this is a gift from Him.

About 5-10 minutes saying about this, one of friends responded that I'm looking down much to myself. I agree with him and will have to change that nature but for this journey I will still -and always- regard it as a road full of lucks because I know everything happens at that time would not come without lucks and blessings from Him.